Teen Mom 2 Recap: Season 5, Episode 2 "Love Will Never Do Without You"

Jenelle Evans: Jenelle is still recovering from her abortion and is having on and off bleeding. Her lawyer calls about the possible amount of jail time Jenelle could face for her heroin charges. She could either face probation again or extended time in prison. Jenelle doesn't seem worried and says she will stay on the straight and narrow now, since Courtland is in jail. (uh huh, sure) Meanwhile, Jace is using his new language skills to create new compound words. He comes up with the charming phrase 'f*ckball' and Babs threatens to put a cucumber in his mouth, like so!

Jenelle talks to her mom about the charges and how a felony could ruin her life. She wants to move on with her life, so Babs suggests that Jenelle look for a job so she can meet people. (Um who's going to hire someone with her rap sheet???) Jenelle tells Babs that she is meeting people: an underwear model named Nathan. She lists Nathan's good qualities and Babs responds with "He wants to meet you???" Classic Babs!!!!

"If I take it off my mom will take it and start dancing like J-Lo in her sweatsuit."
"Yeah, mom he wants to meet me!!!"

"He we go again..."

Jenelle meets up with her trashpit friend Tori about why she has a revolving door of men all the time. She says it's because she never had a male figure growing up and was always fighting with Babs. I have to admit this scene is actually kind of sad, but probably awkward for the lady doing the pedicure to listen to!!!

"I just keep adding more and more flavas!"

Jenelle meets 'dating app guy' Nathan and they go mini golfing for their first date. They talk about the craziest things they've ever done and Jenelle has to think about that. (Let's see...she married someone about two months of dating, got arrested with him and just removed his spawn from her lady parts. Oh, and there's Keiffer. Nathan says the craziest thing he's ever done is join the marines. (she has a type!!)

Ready for a roller coaster ride buddy??

Kailyn Lowry: Kail's court case is coming up and she is stressing about what will happen if the judge doesn't allow her to move with Javi. Javi doesn't see that happening and wants Kail to keep as calm as possible. Neither of them understand why Jo is fighting the relocation since they're moving the same distance from him in a different direction, (Honestly, neither do I) especially since Jo already moved out of state without permission. They think Jo's  only argument is Kail's temper, (um, did he not forget that HE has a temper too??) and hope for good news.

The court date is finally here and Kail and her lawyer discuss custody deals to offer Jo. However, because of a court mix up, the court date gets extended to another county. Kail is frustrated because she's already had to live apart from Javi her entire pregnancy and just wants to settle somewhere before their new baby arrives.

"Jo, why do you always have to be such a pain??"

After the hearing, Jo meets up with his lawyer about this excitement over the court date extension. They talk about how Kail makes 'bad choices' by marrying a military man. (rude much??) Jo's lawyer thinks it's best that Kail 'stays in the general area' (um, Jo already illegally moved out of the general area buddy...) and doesn't want the petition to be granted.

Kail calls Javi to tell him that the court date has been extended and Javi is annoyed, as expected. Kail is saddened by the fact that they have to spend more time apart because of Jo's ridiculousness, and Javi does his best to cheer her up. (Best. husband. ever!!)

Aww :(

Chelsea Houska: Chelsea starts her first day at the "skin and stuff" school soon and meets with her friend Landon to talk about how this program will succeed. (Let's hope so. You're almost 22 and still haven't received a degree!!) While they are talking, Aubree decides to start adolescence early and test Chelsea's boundries. Meanwhile, Adam talks to his new baby mama Taylor about how being a few years older and having 3 DUI's suddenly makes one more mature to parent than a teenager (I got a good laugh out of that one too) and how things are going to work out this time because Taylor is "less crazy" than Chelsea.

"I wonder when they're finally going to erect that statue of me in the center of town? "
"Don't worry babe, I'll actually stick around for this spawn!"

It's now Chelsea's first day of school, but they are already running late because Aubrey is acting like a 13-year old and doesn't want to get up. (Seriously, when does Chelsea put this kid to bed?? She never has any energy. Looks like Chelsea is taking tips from Jo's book of permissive parenting!!) She doesn't cooperate while Chelea and Megan get ready either and Chelsea doesn't know what to do.

Chelsea is finally able to calm Aubree down and drag her butt to school, where they find out they will be practicing skincare on patients in just three weeks. They have everyone introduce themselves and state their favorite dessert. (random??) After class, Chelsea and Megan get in the car to talk about vagina facials and I just threw up in my mouth a little...

"What? We don't get to do vagina facials??"

Chelsea talks to her dad about school and how Adam is taking her to court. She complains about having to be mature, as per usual...

Leah Calvert: Leah and Jeremy are taking their little brats on vacation before Jeremy heads back to work. Leah is exited, but not happy that Jeremy will be leaving for work after they return. They talk about how Leah doesn't feel that Jeremy expresses his emotions enough and that he couldn't care less.

"Why do I have to do all the work??"

Leah and Jeremy head to the pool with their plethera of kids, and Aleah stuffs her bikini top. (lol) While at the pool, Leah and Jeremy discuss how Ali and Aleah are physically capable of doing different things now. (Why are they discussing this in front of the girls??)

The gang heads up to the fair and the festivities are ruined when Leah brings up Jeremy's work again. The family discusses the fun topic and Leah complains of being bored all the time. (um, you have 3 kids, girl. How is life ever boring???)

"You can come when you're old enough to stuff tissues in your bikini!"
"Ready to see your parents get divorced too?"

Leah and Jeremy leave the girls with her parents so they can discuss him going back to work and Leah complaining about having to be mommy and daddy. Jeremy gets pissed and you can cut the tension with a knife. Leah comes across as ungrateful and I'm worried about what this could cause...

*Images from google.com and theashleysrealityroundup.com.

You can watch the episode here: http://www.mtv.com/videos/teen-mom-2-season-5-ep-2-love-will-never-do-without-you/1721409/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=34714&channelId=1

Next week: Jenelle introdes her new 'flava of the week' to Jace and Babs, Jo tells Kail he hopes her f*cking water breaks early (charming...), Chelsea flirts with her sperm- donating baby daddy, and Leah and Jeremy see Ali's doctor to find out more about her condition.

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